Bieber = Upgrade From Ozzy? Yeah, I Don't Think So

In a recent Super Bowl commercial, Best Buy announced that when it’s time to upgrade one of your technological products (since it’s ALWAYS time to upgrade, since companies use planned obsolescence every day to make sure we’re constantly buying, upgrading, wasting resources, and funding genocide), they’ll buy it back so you can get the new version (because you NEED IT! You need it badly, right now, and you should stand in a line all night until you get it!). Well, the policy itself, if it is even true at face value, is a little cool, since it would be less costly for people in general. But the commercial is pretty stupid.

It has Ozzy Osbourne attempting to tell the public about this deal, but he’s so “outdated” that he just can’t get a grasp on the technology. So they bring in one of the most annoying media presences of the decade (not longer than a decade, since that’s about as old as he is), Justin Bieber, to take over for Ozzy. The implication is that Bieber is the “upgrade” of Ozzy Osbourne.

Wait—what? Justin Bieber is not just being compared with Ozzy Osbourne; he’s being hailed as his…upgrade?

I have tears running down my face, I’m laughing so hard. If humor is what you were going for, Best Buy, you totally rocked it, because that’s just the silliest thing I’ve ever heard. Of course, I don’t think that was the part you meant to be humorous. I think the part you meant to be humorous was the end of the commercial, during which Ozzy asks, “What’s a Bieber?” and is told that “it looks like a girl.” As much as I detest children being used as media ploys and all of the gross commercialism that surrounds them—there’s nothing that creates tiny tot consumers faster than putting a tiny tot on stage, after all—I don’t think it’s right to make fun of Justin Bieber or to question his gender on national television as a joke. It’s not funny.

But comparing him, a fly-by-night fad reminiscent of New Kids on the Block, the Backstreet Boys, NSYNC and every other boy band bane of my childhood, to Ozzy Osbourne, who no matter what you think of him and what he’s done to animals and the English language, is an actual rocker, musician, talent, and cultural impact that will last as long as humans do, even post-death, is.

Upgrade, indeed. If this is how music upgrades, I’ll keep my vinyl collection and tape deck, thanks.

Prudent Punxsutawney Phil Didn't See His Shadow

Could Have Faced Terrorism Charge?!

The news this morning, Groundhog Day, is that the most famous groundhog of Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, Punxsutawney Phil, did not see his shadow. If he had, so the story goes, America would be in for six more weeks of winter. And America might have been short one groundhog.

It was good for that rodent that he didn't see his shadow. This morning, a large part of America is facing one big nasty blizzard. America has endured one long nasty winter,

Last year, the word was that the little beast did see his shadow. And if that Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania rat had tried that again, this year, there may have been a call to bring him up on terrorism charges, aiding and cheering on the Old Man Winter, who all season long has been busy terrorizing folks.

Item from the  Associated Press -- "The world's most famous groundhog did not see his shadow today making a prediction of early spring the 125th annual weather forecast from Punxsutawney Phil. " See the video.

Happy Birthday Betty White!

Two items on the net this morning. Betty White celebrated her 89th Birthday,
and she is still hot -- a hot performer, co-starring in the TVLand sitcom, Hot in Cleveland, which is doing well in the ratings, and that tonight, Wednesday, for the second season premiere of her show, Betty White is reunited with Mary Tyler Moore, who will be guest starring.

Ms White and Ms. Moore worked well together on the sitcom classic The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and fans are anticipating a comedy gem tonight. I must say, Mary Tyler Moore still looks good.

As for Betty White, she is funny, a fans favorite, with the ability to bring people back to their TV's? for a moment to laugh, to feel good, laughing

Item from the Associated Press -- "Betty White celebrates her 89th birthday in New York. The star of 'Hot in Cleveland' says her co-stars keep her working and that Regis is not a wimp for retiring at a younger age than her." See the video.

Toys R Us, Don’t You Know That You’re Toxic?

Don’t you just hate broken promises? Like when your relative promises to stop smoking or to stop seeing that person who’s just plain bad for him/her, or when your friend promises to watch your kid while you go to something you’ve been waiting for all year, or when your spouse promises to stop leaving his or her dirty underwear in the floor…and then the promise is just never honored? Boy, that sucks.

What sucks even worse is when a company makes a big promise that affects plenty of people—and then just fails at keeping it, so thoughtlessly and uncaringly, as if it never even mattered to their customers. Toys R Us has done just that.

You may remember that back in 2008, Toys R Us promised to reduce its use of PVC in its products. It didn’t make the giant promise of eliminating PVC (wouldn’t THAT have been something?) or even phasing it out, but simply “reducing” the amount of PVC that it uses. That’s a pretty doable goal, you would think.

But Toys R Us must’ve forgot about this promise—a promise that’s pretty important to parents, especially when considering what kind of damage that PVC can do upon children. Polyvinyl chloride is also known as “the poison plastic” for a reason, after all. Not only does it have an adverse effect on our environment; it also causes major health concerns—from cancer to hormonal disruption and plenty of other problems. It even affects our immune systems—something that parents strive so hard to maintain every day in their children. In children, PVC may also cause obesity and learning disabilities!

 It’s impossible to completely avoid it, unfortunately; everyone has levels of this toxic chemical in their blood.

That doesn’t, however, mean that we should be putting it in the things that our children play with. After two years, Toys R Us still hasn’t fulfilled its promise, and continues to sell as many PVC and PVC-wrapped toys (including baby products) as ever.

Please write to the toy company today and urge them to put the health of their tiniest customers first. Be sure to also use your spending power as a parent to stop this from happening; refuse to give your hard-earned dollars to a company that disregards the health of children. As long as we refuse to buy, the company will have to start selling healthier products if it wants our money.

The Hockey Crowd and the Little Girl

There is a video on the net of this hockey crowd that helps a young girl with the National Anthem, after her microphone turns off in the middle of her performance.

The little girl, eight year old Elizabeth Hughes, was singing the anthem beautifully, until the problem with the microphone. The crowd reacted beautifully, giving her an assist. See the video.

My take on this? A hockey crowd? America, this shows maybe three important things about hockey fans.

Number One: All hockey fans aren't like that crowd in the days of ancient Rome, who went to the games in the Coliseum to see fights, blood and mayhem, and didn't care about anything but seeing fights, blood and mayhem.

Number Two: If a time machine was possible and if a fight could be arranged between Attila the Hun and Saint Francis of Assisi, not all hockey fan could be counted on to root for Attila the Hun.

Number Three: Hockey fans may have little girls in their families too.

Lebron James: A stepson went home again?

Well, they were booing in Cleveland last night, until they weren't, until they were silenced by the man whom the Cleveland fans came to boo.

Well there were cheers, when the man was blocked or missed a shot or was called for a foul. He didn't miss many shots.

The man, their ex-hero, who played for them for seven years before he heard the call of free agency and left for something better, leaving them feeling betrayed, and deserted. He left them, left Cleveland for Miami, left a tired old, dreary, cold, rainy, grim city for the sunshine and the beach, and a chance to shine brighter, and for this they booed, until they were silenced.

The Associated Press reports that Lebron James returned to Cleveland and lead his new team the Miami Heat to beat his old team the Cavaliers , 118-90. Lebron James scored 38 of the Heat's points. The game all but over by halftime.

"LeBron James scored half the points in a 16-0 first-quarter surge that muffled an angry crowd."

Let it go, Cleveland.

LeBron James scored ten more points than Cleveland's starting lineup, and he sat on the bench for all of the fourth quarter.

Cookie Monster Hosting SNL?

No. No way. No.

The Cookie Monster, the little bug-eyed monster, whose claim to fame is that he loves cookies and has been on the PBS children's show, Sesame Street, for years and years, wants to host on Saturday Night Live? This monster has put out an audition video. See the video.

Not unexpected -- A lot of former Sesame Street watchers are trying to help the dude get the gig. They are twittering like crazy. They must think the Cookie Monster is the new Betty White, and have joined in the craven Internet campaign to lobby the SNL suits to give the cookie eating fiend his big night time break.

Okay, his audition video has laughs -- But!

Okay, my first reaction to the Cookie Monster's campaign to host Saturday Night Live was -- lol. That is a funny idea. Clever of PBS to want to go -- well? To go SNL?!

But, as I thought about this, I figured -- 'Isn't this a spoof? A joke?'

Then, as I pondered further, my thoughts turned negative on the Cookie Monster.

SNL should have some standards. Betty White is funny, a classy lady, She brightened up the place. She got the writers to write some good stuff too.

SNL should be irreverent. I think even President Bush, who is out hawking his book wouldn't do too bad hosting SNL. Even Dick Cheney could inspire the writers. But the cookie monster? No way,

The Cookie Monster is pre-school stuff, dude. This would turn the writers batty, trying to fit the Cookie Monster into the junky --(junk is a popular words these days -- junky from junk) skits. It would call for too much self-censorship, dude.

"The Onion" Exposes it ALL on Facebook (by "ALL" I mean only breasts)

At first I thought "Oh I must be drunk still" until the reality set in that there was, indeed, bare breasts on my facebook page. There was also bare  breasts right on "the onion" facebook page. It seemed like there was breasts everywhere and I hadn't even had my cup of coffee yet. I wonder what will happen to all the people who were in the wrong place at the wrong time checking their facebook at work. I guess they shouldn't have been doing that - should they? That will show them! Ah, good times. In case you were wondering , the screen shot I took above I have personally modified - there was originally boobs in that white box.

Is nudity even allowed on facebook? I guess it depends on who is posting it. I suppose this is the Onions way to wish everyone a HAPPY veterans day!

EDIT: Since posting this, the original Onion facebook post has been taken down. I guess the 1000's of comments and "likes" (or the prudes who found it offensive and reported it to facebook) must have made them take down those puritanically offensive boobs. I suppose it was fun while it lasted! I guess after thinking about it for a bit - someone must have been really smart or really dumb to post it in the first place. Nudity does garner a lot of attention - I think this time they might have missed - even with all those "hits" they must have gotten. The hilarious article "Poll Finds Majority Of Male Voters Would Have Elected Naked Woman" is still available to view right on the Onion website (for now).

James MacArthur, R.I.P.

James MacArthur, who had a stage and screen career that spanned four decades died yesterday, Thursday. The Associated Press reports that James MacArthur died from natural causes in Flordia. He was 72 years old.

James MacArthur was "Danno," the character, detective Danny Williams on "Hawaii Five-O,"

From NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams --"Without him (James MacArthur), we would not have one of the great phrases in the modern American lexicon. Book him, Danno. murder one. "

James MacArthur's 'Danno" was the sidekick of Steve McGarrett, the lead character, the role played by the late Jack Lord.

Yes, I was a fan of Hawaii Five-O. I remember James MacArthur's Walt Disney movies. The movies are classics that hold up very well today. The first of which stands out in my memory is "The Light in the Forest." with Fess Parker, and then "Swiss Family Robinson," and "Kidnapped," and "Third Man on the Mountain," He made other movies too, and had many guest appearances on TV shows.

James MacArthur, R.I.P.

Tony Curtis, R.I..P.

Tony Curtis has died. He was a big actor, a star in the 1950s and early 1960s. He died yesterday at his home in the Las Vegas area. The Associated Press reports the cause of death as cardiac arrest. He was 85.

Tony Curtis starred with Sidney Poitier in "The Defiant Ones". I shall never forget that movie. He starred with Jack Lemmon and Marilyn Monroe in "Some Like It Hot." I shall never forget that movie. I liked the movie he made with Burt Lancaster, "Sweet Smell of Success." I liked what he did in the movie "Spartacus."I like the movie "The Vikings." I like the movie "Operation Petticoat."

Tony Curtis is being remembered for "The Defiant Ones," which brought him a best actor nomination for an Academy Award, and for "Some Like It Hot," which is considered to be one of the best movie comedies of all times.

Tony Curtis, R.I.P.

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