My sister says that since Harry Potter—I mean Daniel Radcliffe!—is now 22 years old, he is fair game. The thing is, SHE is 22 as well, so it’s easy for her to say. For a huge fan of the books who’s almost 30, well, it’s quite a different story.

But have you SEEN him? He’s not the cute little kid you want to adopt with the scar on his head anymore. He’s a full-grown English hottie. I remember when he was nude in Equus a couple of years ago, and a friend of mine—also of the younger crowd—went nuts over it. I refused to even look at the images, scoffing, “That’s Harry Potter! I do not want to see him naked! I want to see him kill Voldemort and marry Ginny Weasley!” Yes, even back then, I was gunning for Ginny. She rocked then and she rocks now; Mary Jane, my eye.

And duuuude. Have you seen the trailer to The Lady in Black? Yes, I want to see it because it looks like the best thriller in years, but I also just want to gaze at Daniel Radcliffe for two hours. Him in that suit is like what Johnny Depp did to formalwear ten years ago.

I just can’t stop feeling like a total pervert. My husband, who likes to cheekily remind me that I had a crush on a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle when I was eight years old, says there could be worse things. My sister says that her math teacher had a crush on Hermione before she was legal, which is disturbing but makes me feel a bit better; after all, I didn’t feel this way during any of the Harry Potter films. It wasn’t until I saw the trailer for Lady in Black when I started to notice Radcliffe as less of a child actor and more of a potential cabana boy, after all. I shouldn’t feel too bad, right?

Because there’s one thing I want to get straight: I am no cougar, no Stifler’s (or Stacey’s) mom, no Mrs. Robinson! A happily married mom with a job and life I love, I have to remember that it was only a few short years ago when I was in love with all older actors—from Harrison Ford to Vincent D’onofrio, William Peterson to Ralph Fiennes. What the hell am I doing looking at Harry Potter—I mean Daniel Radcliffe, for Pete’s sake! I think this twisted anti-aging culture is catching up with me.

I think I’ll watch The English Patient or The Fugitive or something this weekend while my parents have my daughter and remember the refined, older gentlemen who used to capture my heart.

Of course, I’ll be watching The Lady in Black come February…